I WANT TO DIE BUT I WANT TO EAT TTEOKPOKKI By BAEK-SEE-HEE

PAPERBACK

I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki by Baek Sehee is a deeply introspective and quietly powerful memoir that blends therapy transcripts with personal reflections. The title itself captures the emotional paradox at the heart of the book—feeling overwhelmed by depression while still craving the small joys of life, like Korea’s beloved spicy rice cakes, tteokbokki.

Baek, a successful social media director, begins seeing a psychiatrist to address her persistent low mood and self-doubt. Over the course of twelve weeks, she records their sessions and adds her own essays, exploring themes like dysthymia (chronic mild depression), self-esteem, relationships, and the struggle to appear “fine” on the outside while feeling hollow within.

The tone is raw, honest, and often quietly humorous. It doesn’t offer neat solutions but instead invites readers to sit with discomfort, question their inner narratives, and find comfort in shared vulnerability. It’s especially resonant for anyone who’s ever felt like they’re “not sick enough” to seek help, yet not well enough to feel whole.